Dear Platform-1,

I'm hijacking this shit.

Sincerely,
Disgruntled Employee

life goals, 5/27/09

5) Be ambidextrous.

This is it for the compulsive (and useless) posting, I promise. :)

I really hate how every post has to have a title.

I AM SO ANNOYED THAT THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD CONCERTS THIS SUMMER AND I WON'T BE HERE FOR ANY OF THEM.

Also, this is the second time this week that I have stayed up late enough to catch the sunrise, but on both occasions, I could not actually witness said sunrise because it was so cloudy.

Did you know that I have an aversion to using the Caps Lock key? I usually just hold Shift and type awkwardly.

life goals, 4/21/09

Since it's the end of my sophomore year of college, I thought I would enumerate some of my life goals, in the spirit of reflection and personal growth.

1) Work in a record store.
2) Be enough of a pretentious f*** to get into the Radiohead Decal at Berkeley. AND THEN, openly admit that I infinitely prefer Pablo Honey over OK Computer, which is true, but also apparently very blasphemous.
3) Never own another car besides my '97 Nissan Maxima, which is so undesirable that once, I accidentally left my keys in the ignition, and no one bothered to steal it, but which I love regardless.
4) Become really good at something really useless. I haven't decided what yet.

I used to want to change the world, but this might make me equally happy.

Campus Music Invasion 2009

Well, CMI, it's been fun. After spending this entire semester promoting these 16 bands, it's hard not to have a favorite, and also many that I really don't care for, to put it nicely. But I won't talk about the latter today, maybe some other time. I'm actually really glad, though, that I'm a part of this project, because otherwise, I probably would not have discovered The Gin Riots. They are an amazing punk rock band from England, which is probably sort of a cliche by now, but they are sort of in the tradition of The Clash, The Ramones, etc. Their influences also include The Pogues, The Velvet Underground, and The Cure, which automatically gives them a few million bonus points in my book. They have a very upbeat and energetic sound, which is best displayed on the songs, "I Didn't Mean It" or "Polka." They're pretty big in the underground music scene in London, but their popularity hasn't really spread to the U.S. yet. So here comes the sales pitch: go check out their music, I'm sure you'll enjoy it!

Now if you'll excuse me, there is a spider in my printer that I really have to attend to.

my war on clutter

So after a hellish week of not having internet, all is well again. I had a bit of a "Welcome Back Wireless Connection" celebration, which basically consisted of downloading a whole bunch of shit onto my computer. Mostly music, but also 4 seasons of the Justice League. How awesome was that show, right? :)

Which brings me to my next point: I have decided that I am going to do some spring cleaning for my music collection, which currently stands at 34.13 GB, and 22.39 GB of it has never been listened to! I think I have a problem of keeping too much music I don't like, in hopes that it will grow on me, because some music is like that. I’m especially reluctant to delete bands that receive a lot of hype, since I can’t help but feel that there is something I’m missing that allows everybody except me to appreciate it. But this ends today, or sometime in the near future! So I hereby vow to give a fair listen to the following bands, and if I still don’t like them, to the Recycle Bin they go. Regardless of what all the music critics in the world think.

1) The Decemberists

2) Bright Eyes

3) Arcade Fire

4) Arctic Monkeys

5) Architecture in Helsinki

6) Band of Horses

7) Beirut

8) Au Revoir Simone

9) Black Mountain

10) Broken Social Scene

11) Dinosaur Jr.

12) Drive-By Truckers

13) Eels

14) The Flaming Lips

15) Hot Hot Heat

16) Husker Du

17) Metric

18) The Residents

19) Sonic Youth

20) The Soviettes

21) Sunny Day Real Estate

22) Tunng

23) The Unicorns

24) Vampire Weekend

Was that necessary, enumerating all of them? I’m sure you don’t think so. Admittedly, when I started, I didn’t think it would be such a long list. If I legitimately obtained all my music, I’d be pretty unnecessarily broke.

an indie music movie soundtrack

Looking at my past posts, I think I've been using the word "love " a lot. I mean it 100% though, always. For instance, I love it when books I...love...get turned into movies. Or more accurately, I'm initially excited. I suppose I don't always love the end result nearly so much. For example, EVERY DR. SEUSS BOOK SO FAR that has been made into a live action movie has thoroughly creeped me out (Jim Carrey as the Grinch?). And Coraline was sort of disappointing too. It was really beautiful, but too kid-oriented. Yes, I know it was a kids' book, but that's no excuse, and if you read the book, you'd understand. SO A QUICK AND SLIGHTLY OFF-TOPIC THING, I just discovered that in 1970, a movie version of The Phantom Tollbooth was released, and I am absolutely going to watch it, and it should be amazing. But the actual point of this was, Where the Wild Things Are is coming out in theatres later this year(!). Maybe you've seen the trailer? It features an Arcade Fire song, "Wake Up." This is apparently a big deal in the music world. I'm not a big Arcade Fire fan myself, but I do love it when movies feature indie musicians in their soundtracks. I never understood people who like keeping really great bands to themselves. Like all those hipsters who got upset when Garden State came out, and all of a sudden mainstream America loved The Shins. I think it's fantastic when a band I like succeeds, because they absolutely deserve it, and I think it's pretty immature and selfish to want to deny them that just so I can have an unwarranted sense of superiority. I really despise indie kids sometimes, and I don't by any means consider myself to be one. I don't even like Animal Collective, which is basically the indie community's prodigy this year, right? But despite all this, here is my--you've been waiting for this since you read the title of this post--indie music movie soundtrack. It's not perfect, but I actually chose it myself instead of falling to the temptation of setting iTunes on shuffle. Which produces some pretty fun results, but I guess that's for another time.

Opening Credits: Rilo Kiley - "A Better Son/Daughter"

Car Chase: Stars - "Soft Revolution"

Love Scene: Stars - "My Favourite Book"

Ending Credits: Dizzy Balloon - "Young Love"/Badly Drawn Boy - "Four Leaf Clover"

That was pretty fun. I'd like to have a job where I can just sit at a conference table and talk about music I like. I could make movie soundtracks, or choose songs for Rock Band. "I LIKE THIS SONG," or "FALL OUT BOY IS LAME, AND NOT IN A COOL NOSTALGIC WAY BECAUSE THEY'RE FAIRLY RECENT." Maybe I'll go make up some business cards offering my services as a Music Consultant. No, I probably won't. I just Googled it, and the title is already taken for a less-cool job.

here are some things I love (and some I don't)

I love the smell of spring, living in California, and daylight savings. And days like today make me wish I knew San Jose like the back of my hand, i.e. where all the cool restaurants and cafes and really chic boutiques are. My actual hometown is so incredibly suburban, and it's simply not a fun way to spend an afternoon, choosing whether to sit at this Starbucks or that one, or maybe try something really offbeat like going to Peet's instead. Really.

Springtime even makes reading Virginia Woolf enjoyable. But for fairness's sake, I can't tell if it's the good weather or the actual literature. I think after having to read Gertrude Stein (only 3 pages of it!), anything is a blast. Reading "Tender Buttons" absolutely made me want to cry; it was so frustrating and nonsensical, and I even Googled "How to read Gertrude Stein," but it didn't really yield anything that helpful. If you're ever feeling particularly masochistic, go check it out.

I LOVE STARS.

Stars receives a disproportionate amount of the total plays I have "scrobbled" on Last.fm, approximately twice as many as any other given band. Yes, more than The Beatles, more than Queen, more than Blondie, more than anything else I've so far professed to love. I saw them live at the Fillmore this year, and it was an absolutely amazing night. I think Stars is the perfect music for young people because it's so romantic and dreamy, and it makes you want to stay that way too, instead of falling into cynicism or practicality as so many people do. They sing about love, and heartbreak, and revolution, and they do it so sincerely, which I think is hard to find in music now, when everyone's trying to look so detached and ironic. I believe that the music you listen to definitely has an impact on who you become, and I don't want to become jaded and tired of life, so this is what I choose to listen to. Maybe it won't have this effect on you, but I really wish everybody liked Stars as much as I do. It might even make the world a better place. My favorite album is "In Our Bedroom After the War," but "Set Yourself On Fire" is a close second. I would absolutely recommend these two albums to anyone.

Live Nation Entertainment?

Many people are (quite reasonably) upset over the recent news concerning the Live Nation-Ticketmaster merger. I count myself a member of this group, and there are so many reasons why you should too. If the merger should happen, it would eliminate virtually all competition in the ticketing industry, and essentially give one company total control over almost all ticketing for major artists and venues in the U.S. I know everyone always panics about mergers, but trust me, this one is really worth panicking about. The ticketing industry has been nearly monopolized by Ticketmaster until Live Nation created a ticketing service, and now that these two entertainment giants are being all buddy-buddy, it means bad news for concertgoers. Ticketmaster and Live Nation have been ripping us off for years with their ridiculous "convenience fees," which sometimes cost as much as the concert ticket itself. But the new plan may be to sell tickets on a secondary market instead of a primary market, meaning that rather than selling tickets for a fixed price, ticketing will operate auction-style. As a college student, I dread the day this happens. I don't expect to be earning much for at least the next couple years, and the elimination of fixed-price ticketing virtually wipes out my chances of seeing any big-name artists. I can't even cling to the hope that if my internet connection is fast enough, I will be able to secure those coveted tickets, because now I won't stand a chance against those enviable People With Disposable Income. I know the secondary ticket market already exists in the form of Craigslist and scalpers, and some people think it won't be a big deal because it's something we've all had to live with, but I think this is a poor argument in favor of the merger. Live Nation Entertainment could make the majority of ticketing happen in their own secondary market, allowing them to scoop up the surplus previously enjoyed by other companies or private assholes. Oops, I mean sellers. Private sellers, sorry. The upside is that tickets for the more obscure artists may be cheaper than they currently are, but it's a small consolation. While this new ticketing option would eliminate shortages, it really puts many concertgoers at an unfair disadvantage by essentially taking away their privilege to see some really great live shows.

Wanted: Tickets to Coachella

Thinking about summer music festivals always makes me sad because I never get to go, for some reason or another. There's the obvious geographic problem, i.e. what is there worth going to in Northern California? But Coachella (in SoCal), on the other hand. Look at the headliners. Paul McCartney, The Killers, and The Cure, which are right up my lane. Although I tend to view Paul McCartney less as an independent artist and more as a former Beatle. I can't help it. Unlike, say, Dave Grohl, I don't think Paul's solo career will ever overcome the fact that he was one a part of Something Really Big. This week I was supposed to decide which summer music festival I would most want to attend, and for a bit, I was sort of torn between Coachella and Bonnaroo. I think there were maybe three deciding factors. One: I don't really want to go to Tennessee. It's completely not worth the long and expensive flight, made all the more unbearable by the inevitable five-hour stop in Denver, Colorado, or somewhere equally not-my-destination. And Two (see Exhibit A): Bonnaroo does not have The Cure, now does it? It almost makes up for this serious flaw by having Bruce Springsteen, who I've been dying to see live if only my wallet could take it. But I don't love Bruce Springsteen anywhere near as much as I love Robert Smith, who I have a somewhat irrational crush on. Irrational because he's 30 years older, not to mention married. But he's brilliant, and witty, and I imagine he would be a great conversationalist. And Three: the other headliners for Bonnaroo are kind of lame, in my opinion. I would so much rather see Paul McCartney and The Killers than Phish and the Beastie Boys. So it's decided. Now if only I had tickets. And a way to miss class for a couple days without getting screwed. Seriously, whose idea was it to have mandatory attendance for college classes? I thought they weren't supposed to be babysitting us, so what gives?

Exhibit A:

Lollapalooza '09

The headliners for this year's Lollapalooza kind of disappoint me. Beastie Boys, Depeche Mode, and Jane's Addiction? I have nothing against any of these bands, except maybe the Beastie Boys, but it's honestly nothing I'd get excited over. Actually, I'm going to be blunt about this. I like a lot of music, but I don't like the Beastie Boys. Not one bit. They don't even exist on my hard drive, except for "Sabotage," which I downloaded as part of Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs. And I think the selection is undeserved, but obviously enough people disagree with me on this one. As for Depeche Mode and Jane's Addiction...I absolutely love the 80s revival thing that's been going on these past few years. It means I get a chance to see bands that became big (and then separated!) before I was even born, and I think almost everything from the 80s is excellent, regardless of what those snotty music critics say. Keyword is "almost," though. Depeche Mode and Jane's Addiction are two bands from that era that I've just never been that into. Depeche Mode is probably one of my least favorite new wave bands. I've made a valiant effort, in my opinion, to like them, but I tend to think of them as a watered-down version of Duran Duran. Sure, they have some good songs. But their music lacks replay value, I think, because once I listen to one of their songs a certain number of times, it gets annoying. For example, "Just Can't Get Enough." And "People are People." As opposed to Duran Duran or New Order, which I will love eternally, I think. Or even Yazoo. I wish Depeche Mode had reformed as Yazoo instead of Depeche Mode. Screw name recognition, really. I have been listening to Yazoo's "Only You" practically nonstop, and I like it better than anything I've heard by Depeche Mode. And I really haven't got that much to say about Jane's Addiction. I like their hit, "Jane Says," don't care much for "Been Caught Stealin'," and I haven't listened much to the rest of their catalogue. Yes, I know they started Lollapalooza, but that doesn't make me appreciate their music any more. I prefer my 80s music to be heavily electronic.

Camera Obscura at SXSW

Looking at the list of bands that are going to be at SXSW, I have to admit that I practically don't recognize any of them except Camera Obscura. So I will write about them. Camera Obscura is a great chamberpop band from Scotland with a very mellow sound. They're also quite retro for a modern band, and one look at their influences reveals why--the list spans everything from Elvis to The Lovin' Spoonful to Joy Division, so their music is occasionally heavy on the electronic instrumentals, coupled with excellent vocal melodies. I think they've been compared to Belle & Sebastian a lot, largely because both bands are from Scotland and they have a somewhat similar sound. I can't say which I prefer, but I will concede that Tracyanne Campbell, the singer for Camera Obscura, has a much lovelier voice. And while their songs have the same upbeat melodies and fun instrumentation, there are definitely darker emotions expressed in the lyrics if you bother to listen closely enough. Case in point, the first Camera Obscura song I ever loved was, "I Need All the Friends I Can Get," which has a very happy, sort of sing-song melody, and lyrics like, "You can't see that you're just the same/As all the stupid people who you hate." They manage to be insulting while sounding absolutely benign and innocent, which is a very trademark sort of thing for them. If it sounds like something you'd be into, I recommend checking out their two most recent albums, "Underachievers Please Try Harder" and my personal favorite, "Let's Get Out of This Country." And if you're lucky enough to be at SXSW this year, make sure you don't miss out on seeing them on the first day of the festival!

no can has english major?

Oh, so tired. I hate writing papers. Four pages is not usually a problem, but T.S. Eliot's poetry is so incredibly dense and elitist. I love it, but I hate having to understand it and construct a logically sound argument from it. While on Google searching for the text of "The Waste Land," I found this: "The Waste Land" translated into the grammatically atrocious language that is LOLCat Speak. Hoping it would elucidate things, I actually clicked on the link and read it.

Unfortunately, I am not at all fluent in LOLCat, so this version made about as much sense as Eliot's. The LOLCat version, however, has caused me to seriously doubt my own faculties of observation. The LOLCat seems to have noticed several images alluding to masturbation, but this has actually gone entirely over my head, even in my repeated close readings.

I wonder what implications this has for my literary future.

no time for a hundred indecisions

This week's assignment was to come up with my dream set list for three genres, and then one of my choice. I have done an unspeakable amount of research to be able to present this final product to you. I have surfed Pandora, last.fm, Amazon, and iLike until my eyes burned. I have downloaded over 2 GB of music to my already cluttered computer. So appreciate, please. :)

Genre #1: Hip-hop

Opener: Gnarls Barkley
Mid: M.I.A.
Headliner: Santogold

What's that you say? Gnarls Barkley and Santogold aren't actually hip-hop? In my book, they are. If I hear you rapping (and you're not being ironic), you're hip-hop. I know Santogold is horribly offended by this label, but my justification is that I'm honestly not doing it on racist terms. So now that I've sufficiently defended myself against classification Nazis, if those exist, I'd like to explain my choice. I've never liked hip-hop (or any other terms I judge to be equivalent, i.e. rap, R&B, etc.). And when I learned I had to come up with my top 3 hip-hop artists, I practically tore my hair out in panic (minor exaggeration). So after much research, I've compromised for a sort of pop rap theme. I'd like to see Gnarls Barkley live because I've always sort of liked them (since their ubiquitous hit, "Crazy"). And also, I hear they put on a great live show, with themed costumes. Next, I chose M.I.A. because I think I'm beginning to appreciate her music more (read: more than I appreciate other rappers), and because she has apparently performed her last show?! I chose Santogold because I actually really like the music from her debut album. My favorites are probably, "L.E.S. Artistes," "Shove It," "Lights Out," and "Say Aha."

Genre #2: Jazz

Opener: John Coltrane (c. 1960s)
Mid: Nat King Cole (c. 1950s)
Headliner: Frank Sinatra (c. 1940s)

Jazz was also a bit hard for me, since I'm not much of a jazz-appreciater. I'd like to be, but it's just hard for me to get into certain types of music at this point in my life. Like Bob Dylan. I don't like admitting this to hardcore music snobs, but I really don't see what's so great about Dylan. Call it a lack of maturity, but I also can't yet appreciate 10-minute saxophone solos. But I hear the experience of seeing a jazz performer live is incomparable to hearing a CD, so I'll go out on a limb and put John Coltrane on my list. Also, he's is reputedly an amazing improviser. Nat King Cole made the list because I love the sound of his voice. And I think Frank Sinatra is a no-brainer. Frank Sinatra songs have been the soundtrack to my love life, and I know by heart all the words to "Let's Fall in Love," "Fly Me to the Moon," "The Way You Look Tonight," "Somethin' Stupid," "I've Got the World On a String," etc. You get the idea.

Genre #3: Rock

Opener: Blondie (c. 1980s)
Mid: Queen (c. 1980s)
Headliner: The Beatles (c. 1960s)

There are so many bands in this genre I would love to see live, and it certainly makes me unhappy to have to leave so many out of this set list. In case one of the above bands calls in sick, I would please like someone from the following to step in: The Clash, The Pogues, Stone Temple Pilots, Alice in Chains, The Cure, The Smiths, Nirvana, The Velvet Underground, The Replacements, Duran Duran, or Bruce Springsteen. Maybe I did that to illustrate what a tough choice it was. Maybe I did it as an honorable mention. More likely, I did it because I have very little confidence in my final set list, and I like to keep my options around. I chose Blondie because I love everything they do, which seems an adequate enough reason. I am also still disappointed at not being able to see them this week. The show is the night before my economics midterm, but I still wouldn't hesitate to go if I were somehow magically offered tickets. By a secret admirer who reads this blog. No? Well, it was worth a shot. I think Queen and The Beatles need no explanation.

Genre #4: Pop

Opener: The Magnetic Fields
Mid: The Killers
Headliner: Stars

For Genre #4, I chose the vague, all-encompassing genre of pop. I've actually already seen The Killers and Stars in concert, but I really enjoyed both concerts, so I would have no problem seeing them again. The Magnetic Fields and Stars both have a very charming, lo-fi sound, and really clever lyrics. And The Killers are just a lot of fun. Enough said.

homework trouble

I'm supposed to be working on some problem sets that are due tomorrow, but instead I've been scrounging around on Craigslist and Ebay for Blondie tickets, with no luck. Blondie, one of my all-time Top Ten, dare I say Top Five, Bands, is coming to the Fillmore this month and I am so angry that I'm not going to be able to go! It's completely my fault, though. I saw the tickets on sale months ago, but I was being stupidly ambivalent--you know, about how Blondie is way past their prime, and how it isn't even really Blondie anyway, etc. etc. And now don't I feel like an idiot?

On a more positive note, I am very excited for Coraline to come out in theatres this Friday. I'm always so worried when there's a movie adaptation of a book I really like, but so far it looks very promising. At the very least, I will be impressed by the amazing craftsmanship, i.e. the cherry blossoms made of popcorn, and other fantastic DIY elements with a very "If Martha Stewart Designed Stop-Motion Animation Sets" feel. I have a lot of expectations riding on this movie, and I think if it turns out really well, it may even make up for the loss of seeing Debbie Harry live, because for me, Neil Gaiman is to literature what Blondie is to music (AMAZING). Although Coraline is admittedly one of his creepier works, despite the fact that it's for children. I read it when I was in high school, and it still creeped me out the extent that, for days, I was on the lookout for severed porcelain hands crawling about in the dark. Ugh.

Henry James In a Nutshell

I am taking an English class with an amazing professor this semester, and the only downside is that I have to read Henry James's Portrait of a Lady. And Virginia Woolf. Two downsides, then. But back to Henry James. I just came across a great passage, and I thought I would share it with all two of you that read this blog. So the main character is expressing her thoughts on her very manly American suitor, aptly named Caspar Goodwood:

"There was a disagreeably strong push, a kind of hardness of presence, in his way of rising before her."

Oh, Henry James. The ability to make subtle sexual metaphors is obviously not among your very, very, very few strengths. But boring literature aside, this semester is turning into a really enjoyable one for me. Not only do I have amazing professors such as this one (who also has an interesting theory about a character named Ralph Touchett, who is a bit of a loser and will obviously never get laid, and just what is he doing with his hands in his pockets all the time?), but the subject material is getting infinitely more interesting. I am also taking a class on Batman. Be jealous. :)

of Montreal's "Skeletal Lamping"

I've only just started listening to of Montreal a month ago, but the sheer brilliance of their October release, "Skeletal Lamping," makes me want to kick myself for not listening to them sooner, because I just missed their SF show. I hear Kevin Barnes puts on an amazingly epic show, with fantastic props and costume changes and backup dancers dressed like Buddhas. This, I suspect, is because he is slightly insane. One listen to "Skeletal Lamping" all but confirms this suspicion: "Skeletal Lamping" is the quirkiest, and most creative album I've heard in a long time. It sounds like nothing else I hear on the radio, and keep in mind that as a Berkeley student, I listen to the most ridiculously self-consciously indie college radio station in existence, a.k.a. KALX 90.7, so I already hear my fair share of the bizarre. Barnes's lyrics often border on the nonsensical, but once you figure out what the hell he's actually saying in that wavering falsetto voice, you can't help but want to sing along. I think "Skeletal Lamping" could be a masterpiece if you looked at the songwriting alone, without even taking into account the complex melodies and instrumental breaks. I sometimes can't even decipher the meaning of the lyrics without a few consultations to Dictionary.com or Wikipedia, with Barnes's use of phrases like "paradigm kisses" or random allusions to Orpheus. The thing that absolutely charms me about of Montreal is how they're never mundane, not even when they're doing something as trite and formulaic as a love song. In "Plastis Wafers," I think it's fantastic how Barnes sings, "You're the only with whom I would role play Oedipus Rex." But no matter how bizarre it gets, the lyrics always make sense. Which is decidedly more than can be said about the melody, which probably violates every existing rule of composition. The songs don't follow the traditional "verse-chorus-verse" structure, and for many of them, you'd be hard pressed to identify a chorus at all. Many of the songs are interrupted with chaotic instrumental breaks, and then continue on sounding like a completely different song. I typically have a hard time figuring out when a song has ended and the next one has begun, and when I was listening to "Wicked Wisdom," I checked my iTunes window about three times because each time I thought I had started a new song. So listening to of Montreal is sometimes a bit confusing, and always thoroughly weird, but it's a really enjoyable experience, mostly because it's just so refreshingly different from everything else you've been listening to for your entire life.